Assignment 1 from the last post was to fix the scansion of Oil Bin, and choose whether you want masculine or feminine rhyme. You chose to do the extra credit exercise of increasing the number of lines in each verse, so I'll print that.
Oil Bin - Draft 2
I open up my oil bin and find a little gin
I drink the gin and find that I have made a little sin.
The sin makes me excited
My love is unrequited
And so I have decided
To open up my oil bin and find a little gin
I drink the gin and find that I have made a little sin
The gin’s a nasty smeller
Locked in its oily cellar
She’d stick with this old feller
If only I could tell ‘er
And so I open up my oil bin and find a little gin
I drink the gin and find that I have made a little sin
I’m nearing to resigning
my thoughts still not reclining
For love I am still mining
This senseless way I'm pining
‘Least my alcohol’s brining
So I open up my oil bin and find a little gin
I drink the gin and find that I have made a little sin.
To get technical on you, exCIted and deCIded are not true rhymes in two ways. The soft t and d can fool you into thinking they are the same sound, and in a song like this their small distinction is foolish, so I'll give you that. However, CI and CI are identical sounds, so it's like rhyming rain with rein.
I love the way you start to tell a story about an old geezer who can't bring himself to tell someone he loves her, so he drinks more gin. You could actually turn this ditty of an exercise into a real song, but I'm not sure it's worth the effort at this point. I don't want to let it go just yet though, because you have a scansion problem with the last line of the last verse: "'Least my alcohol's brining." It's not the number of syllables, it's the emPHAsis.
Assignment 2 - perfect. In fact, I only asked for one example of AABA and you gave me three: Yesterday, Michelle, and Blackbird. I'm glad that looking at structure is giving you a little more insight into the songs you listen to.
Assignment 3 - perfect, too. I had asked you to turn a verse/chorus song (Elenore Rigy) into an AABA. Your reply, "All I did was move up Father McKenzie and delete a chorus," was spot on.
Eleanor Rigby (Rearranged)
Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people
Eleanor Rigby
picks up the rice in the church
where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window,
wearing the face that she keeps
in a jar by the door
Who is it for?
Father McKenzie
writing the words of a ser-
mon that no one will hear
No one comes near.
Look at him working.
Darning his socks in the night
when there's nobody there
What does he care?
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?
Eleanor Rigby
died in the church and was bur-
ied along with her name
Nobody came
Father McKenzie
wiping the dirt from his hands
as he walks from the grave
No one was saved
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?
Of course, it's a better verse/chorus song because the chorus doesn't make a very good bridge, and the verse is too repetitive musically. (I've found in writing songs that the "B" section is the hardest to do well.)
Assignment 4 was to pick four Beatle songs that were very different from each other. Your choices were:
I've Got a Feeling
Back In The USSR
Help
Rocky Racoon
More on these later.
Assignment 5 was, you said, the most fun. I asked you to poll your friends to compile a list of a) things that mystify you, b) things that annoy you and c)your favorite cliche. Here are your lists:
A. ventriloquists, Youtube, a misting personal fan, teenage angst, psychics, hot assholes, no two snowflakes are alike, physics, applied communism, the continued existance of Kmart and Radioshack
B. Nick Mittelsteads, Facebook birthday posts, Facebook, socks with sandals, knowing that you SHOULD have won, parents, Miley Cyrus, listening to people chew, people singing the same song over and over
C. take time to smell the roses, bros and hoes go together like I get it on like donkey kong (whatever that is), beating a dead horse, light at the end of the tunnel, looking at the world through rose colored glasses, seize the day, it's raining cats and dogs, we can sleep when we are dead
That's some list. Now imagine each of those being a song. Cliches and catch phrases often become the title of a song, things that mystify provide good subject matter to explore in a song, and things that annoy can make for a humorous number. Other song ideas include things (or someone) that you want, things (or someone) that you enjoy, things (or someone) that you've lost, etc.
So let's get on with new assignments.
1. Fix that scansion in Oil Can. It's only one line.
2. Just because there seemed to be a little confusion in your email to me, give me three rhyming words that are masculine rhymes, and three that are feminine.
3. Given the ideas in your list, pick one and write a song outline. For example:
SOCKS WITH SANDALS
Intro verse: I don't ask much of our relationship, but I have to draw the line somewhere.
First A: When I'm with you and we're alone I feel so happy until I look down and see that you're wearing SOCKS WITH SANDALS.
Second A: When we're out together strolling down the lane, everybody we pass smiles. That's because you're wearing SOCKS WITH SANDALS.
B Section: I want to introduce you at parties to all my friends until I follow their gaze to your feet.
Final A: I love making love to you but we have to part. When I close my eyes I see your naked body wearing SOCKS WITH SANDALS.
Choose verse/chorus or AABA, whichever you want. Nothing has to rhyme, and the idea you pick doesn't necessarily have to be the title. Just describe the song for me.
4. Write a set of dummy lyrics for this music: [song] A song outline is great for when the lyrics come before the music. Dummy lyrics are for those times when a composer gives you a piece of music and wants you to put words to it.
Dummy lyrics are just words that fit the scansion and structure of the music. They don't have to make sense. They are just placeholders. They need to fit the rhythm and phrasing of the music, and they tell you where the rhymes are. And even though they're ridiculous, they feel good in the mouth - no tongue twisters!
The music above is from composer Peter Giammanaco, who recently posted it and invited lyricists to put words to it. He's a pop/rock composer. Listen to it, and write down whatever comes to your head. Sing along with the music and find where rhymes can go.
Because this is a verse/chorus song, you only need one set of lyrics, except where he deviates into a "C" section or wraps up the number. Hear the structure.
5. Finally, tell me a story using the four Beatle songs you selected. In other words, write a mini musical using those songs. This one might take you some time, so if you want to do the other assignments first and continue to work on this you can. You are allowed to stretch, bend, break, and cut-up the songs any way you like, change the tempo from fast to slow, or slow to fast, give different verses to different characters, etc. Or not. It's like assembling found material into a sculpture. Tell a story.
Want a tip? Program them as a playlist in your Ipod, in random mode. Listen to one for 30 seconds, then randomly select the next song. Involve your friends. What kind of story comes to mind?
PS - You don't have to turn in these assignments all at once. Whenever you do one, send it on.
JIM
